Worship, Working, and Waiting

This has been a tough week for me. Not tough in regards to anything serious but tough in regards to being bored out of my mind! I have been spoiled over the years during my breaks in regards to earning money. I substitute teach at Pleasantville and Blind Brook and usually always have work waiting for me when I get home. During the Christmas break I was really enjoying the time I had to relax. As many of you know, this is unusual for me. I do not know how to relax! I tend to find something to do, like reading, and then abandon that in a few minutes in search of something else. That is why the Christmas break had been so satisfying because God was just giving me peace about doing nothing and not feeling bad about it! I was still able to live a life of worship for Him even while mostly staying home and being a bum. I guess the best part of it was spending quality time with the family. Everyone was on vacation and we got to do a lot together.

This brings me to this week. Obviously as a substitute, I could not work last week anyways, and therefore I really got to enjoy some rest and relaxation. Today marked the fourth day in a row that I had slept until noon or later. I think I was getting more tired from sleeping so much. My attitude was terrible the last three days. I wanted so bad to be subbing and earning money. I wondered why God was giving me this extended period off and was quite frustrated by it. I started using it as an excuse for why I was being so grumpy around my family. If you ask my parents they will probably tell you I was near impossible to deal with for the last three days. God is so faithful though. I kept asking Him to show me what He wanted me to do with all this time at home. Today He gave me such peace and motivation. Thankfully I had a dentist appointment at 2:30 so that got me out of the house. Afterwords I felt energized and was able to come home and finally start working on my room. I feel like there are so many things in there that I need to throw out but don't want to. My room is not big to begin with so every time I come home it turns into a disaster area. It was refreshing to go in there and clean under my bed, coming across some neat discoveries along the way. I found some old pictures, some old schoolwork, and a few sports programs. I also was able to throw a lot away. When my dad woke up and my mom came home, I was talkative for the first time all week. We had some great dinner conversation and I simply felt like myself again. Praise God because I was really in a terrible routine before today!

I bring this all up because it ties into my devotional this morning. I am giving My Utmost for His Highest another chance this year. I tried it last year, in its original text, and I found it confusing and inconsistent. One of my friends gave me the updated edition recently and I find it much easier to read and am enjoying it thus far. The title of the devotion was Worship and it dealt with giving God our entire lives and not just bits and pieces. Chambers writes, "Worship is giving God the best that He has given you." He talks about how sometimes we try to make up for a lack of discipline in our quiet times by having a whole day set aside for God. Chambers says that this can be a distraction from giving God consistent time each day. Chambers states that too many times Christians separate the time they devote to worship, work, and waiting. He says, "Some of us seem to jump like spiritual frogs from worship to waiting, and from waiting to work. God's idea is that the three should go together as one." This week I was unable to work and so I was waiting on God to provide me an opportunity to leave the house and earn some money. Instead of allowing my waiting time to be a time of worship, I was taking that time to myself and selfishly using it for many pointless pursuits, some of which led me into sin. As I quickly found out, this use of time was not satisfying at all. Today I have been able to give my day to Him and trust that even though I was not working, I was still blessed to be given the day live, period. According to Chambers' definition, the blessing of each day we get should be given back to God. I am learning to take each day one at a time and not look forward, because when one looks forward, he may miss something God is trying to do now!

For anyone that is still with me through this long post, I hope this communicates to you. In other news, I got my new digital camera in today. This is my fourth camera in like five years and hopefully I will hold on to it for a while. I have a bad habit of either breaking or losing expensive items like this. Tomorrow I head up to Connecticut to visit my friend Donny from Virginia Tech. This will be a nice opportunity to have some Christian fellowship and also get out of the house. After that it is time for NFL playoffs baby! I go back to Blacksburg next Friday and I am really excited for a new semester. I really enjoy being excited about my education for once. Engineering always provided me with a terrified feeling before the first day of classes! God bless you all as you continue on in this new year. Keep your eyes on Jesus!